The reason I am here in %26quot;marriage and divorce%26quot; is because this is about my relationship after a divorce (and it's a long-distance one). Not sure why but recently a lot of nasty things happened to me in a space of few weeks: was ill for 3 weeks, then car crash (lucky escape), then the recent one when I was harassed by the lodger in my house and was scared for my life. Long story but managed to change locks, called the police 3 times cause she was threatening and erratic. The truth is my boyfriend has been very supportive while this was happening, but on the phone. A part of me is now really really sad because I feel if it happened to him I would fly over straight away... it's one hour of a flight only.. obviously, it didn't occur to him. So is this not love then? Should I stop it if that's how I feel?
In a long-distance relationship - is it fair to hold a grudge when he can't be when you need him?
Did you ask him to come see you? If you did and he refused then maybe he doesn't care as much for you as you do for him.
If you didn't ask, give him the benefit of the doubt, guys don't know what you're thinking or what you need. He probably feels that in a situation like that he can handle himself and you must be doing ok too.
Long distance relationships are tough and few work out for the best. I hope this one does for you but do not ignore the signs if it's not. Just ask yourself if this is something you want to go through, by yourself.
In a long-distance relationship - is it fair to hold a grudge when he can't be when you need him?
well i think sometimes men can be slightly inconsiderate and won't think what we might need....just talk to him about it..next time you need him he'll know..sometimes you just have t hint in a smart way at what you want him to do...like while on the phone to him you could say %26quot;i really need you right now..wish you could just jump on the plane and be here to pick me up%26quot; or something less cheesy!
hope you're ok!
Did you ask him to come over? Guys are inherently bad at telling what they should or should not do...how can he be expected to know that you need him right there if you don't tell him? You can't bear a grudge against him for not being telepathic - men are fairly simple folk.
why does he live away??? maybe bc of his job he couldnt come.
Ex. My husband is military and no matter how sick i was or even better i was having his child and he couldnt come for the birth.
I think it depends on what each of you consider priority. My husband was a long distance relationship, he lived an hour flight away...my father died and I did not expect him to come to me unless he could really drop his obligations. He was able to get out of work but he had to beg for the time.
Perhaps the bf didn't want to miss work...
Perhaps he did not think that he would want to miss a chance to come out right at those times and then lose his chance at coming at a later time?
Did you ask him why he didn't consider it?
It doesn't mean he doesn't love you...he probably just weights things differently than you do.
Make sure to communicate your feelings. Relationships will have their ups %26amp; downs...if you feel bad right now...you may not two days from now. Be patient.
I wouldn't call a one hour flight a long distant relationship. A 24 hour flight yes. I would be like you I would have flew in the circumstances. If my partner was only 1 hour away and we were serious about each other. I would like to think we could spend time together every other weekend.
Long distance relationships, hun they dont work. Man role is to be there to protect and shelter his female partner. Hold her to make her feel secure and to kiss her when she feels un loved. May sound weird and I am a rugby player born and bred in South Africa but every man should have been taught that by their father. If you are in tears does a pillow stroke your hair or hold you tight and so dont worry I wont let anything hurt you. Living in the UK now it was a major culture shock to see how woman get treated here but in fairness not all english guys are the same but the majority rule applies here. If you have read all the answer you get it doesnt matter you still have to do what right by yourself and what you feel will make you happy.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
How do i tell my dad??
Having been single for a few years - and liking it - i am now going out with someone from my work ( This is the 3rd work relationship i have had- not in the same workplace though each have been different jobs). The trouble is i dont know how to teel my dad. Each time i go out with someone he goes mental. my last relationship was for 2 and a half years. and everyday was a nightmare with my dad, he turned to drink and was very jealous of my boyfreind. He threatened to change locks if a went out at night and things like that.
I am an only child and my mum died when i was young so he is very protective over me. Evrytime i go out with my boyfriend i have to ly and say im going out with my mates. I hate lying and want to just tell him but nobody seems to understand what trouble its going to cause.
Im 28 and my boyfriend is 20. that alone will cause arrguments and that fact we work together will just add to it. Youd think he'd want to see me settled and happy. please help
How do i tell my dad??
tell your dad you have started seeing someone and ask him if you can bring the bf round for dinner. once your dad gets to know him, im sure it will be easier.
im sure he is being protective and looking out for you, but it also sounds as if he is scared he will loose you. remind him that there will always be a place in your life for him.
How do i tell my dad??
move out of dads house and get your own life
He'll be upset to begin with but your happiness is the ultimate expectation here...so, you must sell to your Dad that your very happy.
THAT LOOKS LIKE A BENT PANCAKE WITH PANTYHOSE ON! (below)
seriously, i think he needs counselling.
aww this is so sad :( i feel sorry for both of you, you need to sit him down and have a really big talk, reassure him say how much you love him, you are hes world at the moment, hes frightened he is going to lose you, reassure him that he never will.
(edit) some of you people are so cold, dont you realise that he lost hes wife and he fears losing hes only daughter now, the only reminder left of them two and what daughter they created out of love? hes so scared of losing her, why cant yous see that side instead of insulting her father!?!?!
Your father's possessiveness is the problem. It shouldn't get in the way of your life.
It's better to be honest with him... tell him that you're seeing someone, that you're happy and that although you understand his being worried about you, you will be careful and hope he can be happy for you! Tell him that he's your dad and as such will ALWAYS be important to you and that you are very grateful for everything he has done for you!
If you're 28 then your dad really has to expect you to be in relationships....I'm sure he's just worried about you getting hurt so you need to be honest and tell him that you'll be careful and will tell him if you have any concerns...
Perhaps you could work on getting your dad a hobby... it sounds as though he is obsessing about loosing you because he feels lonely. I don't know what his interests are, but he must have some so he needs to get out and meet people. Once he has his own relationships and friends to keep him busy he won't have time to obsess himself over your relationships.
Once he is getting out and doing things, you should really get an apartment of your own. I completely understand why you haven't before but you need to work on creating separate lives...
your father has bigger problems then just being upset with your boyfriends...
that's a really hard situation... im sorry im not sure what to say hun
and him lose a good housekeeper? If you're 28 years of age and being gainfully employed doesn't allow you to decide for yourself then you don't need the likes of this crowd to say so.
Your dad needs to get a grip! Maybe he needs to get a life,and doesnt realize he is choking away your life
You are 28!? And your dad is still acting like your a baby and you are not! I think you have to be firm here and simply tell him that you have met someone, you are happy and the more erratic his behaviour gets the further he is pushing you away. Explain that you will eventually meet someone and possibly get married and have children so he cannot throw his dummy out of his pram every time! You really should try and get somewhere to live on your own, he must realise how crazy he is being! This is childish and silly and he cannot protect you forever, he needs to realise that you are 28, not 16.
That is an unhealthy relationship. You need to be in your own apartment. Your dad needs therapy!!!
I am also a father of grown up daughter. Your problem is not because of him but because you really love him.
I feel you have every right to choose your friend(s) and if possible settle down. Your father's insecurities are his self imagined and not based on reality or facts.
You should, therefore, speak to him and hear him out before you suggest introducing your riend to him. Chances are he will agree to it on second request from a loving daughter.
Whoa, don't tell him SH*T. Do what you have to do to keep it on the DL (down low). First off you are 28. If you live with your dad its time for you to get out. Some weird stuff is going on inside your pops head. Your dad should want you out of the house, not keep you locked in it. You need to stop feeling that you have to share so much with you parents or parent. Just remember. You know how your dad thinks, so you know what you should be telling him.
be prepared to move out if u have to
just tell your dad that if he wants to meet your bf then arrange it at a neutral place then talk it through with your dad if he still goes barmy ask him why he does this it might help the situation. if not then work it out from there
you are kiddin of course......c'mon, truth is you've got a flat now, well u r 28, you really don't need to ask Daddy anythin d'ya. your havin fun and a life and Daddy comes to dinner when you invite him RIGHT
move out
well sweetheart i really have to say i think first you should move out on your own i really don't think that i could deal with my mom or dad telling me what do do at 28 and i am only 25...also i have to say that you must like it or you would do something about it...also i don't think that you should be with a 20 year old guy try and find someone closer to your age...just a thought...i mean at 20 i didn't know what i wanted and really hadn't grown up...most of the time it takjes males a lot long to do that then females...some people may say i am wrong but i know it took two times in iraq having a kid and going throw alot more to get where i am today.....good luck and move out
Tell your dad your a grown woman. almost a middle aged woman and your life is your own and if his life is ruined cuz your mum died you can't replace you mum.
Maybe you need to sit down with yuor dad and tell him that you will always be in his life but you need your own life too, he will have to get used to the fact that you want relationships and your dad shouldnt make you feel bad about having a little bit of fun, x
you are 28 years old and have officially been an adult for 10 years!!! i get that u are ur dad's only kid, but he will have to understand that u need to live ur own life, settle down if u want to and do ur own thing! why dont u move out? that would make u feel less under his control! its not fair on u or him, or indeed any of ur boyfriends!
CRADLE SNATCHER!favorite recipe chicken baby name spelling
I am an only child and my mum died when i was young so he is very protective over me. Evrytime i go out with my boyfriend i have to ly and say im going out with my mates. I hate lying and want to just tell him but nobody seems to understand what trouble its going to cause.
Im 28 and my boyfriend is 20. that alone will cause arrguments and that fact we work together will just add to it. Youd think he'd want to see me settled and happy. please help
How do i tell my dad??
tell your dad you have started seeing someone and ask him if you can bring the bf round for dinner. once your dad gets to know him, im sure it will be easier.
im sure he is being protective and looking out for you, but it also sounds as if he is scared he will loose you. remind him that there will always be a place in your life for him.
How do i tell my dad??
move out of dads house and get your own life
He'll be upset to begin with but your happiness is the ultimate expectation here...so, you must sell to your Dad that your very happy.
THAT LOOKS LIKE A BENT PANCAKE WITH PANTYHOSE ON! (below)
seriously, i think he needs counselling.
aww this is so sad :( i feel sorry for both of you, you need to sit him down and have a really big talk, reassure him say how much you love him, you are hes world at the moment, hes frightened he is going to lose you, reassure him that he never will.
(edit) some of you people are so cold, dont you realise that he lost hes wife and he fears losing hes only daughter now, the only reminder left of them two and what daughter they created out of love? hes so scared of losing her, why cant yous see that side instead of insulting her father!?!?!
Your father's possessiveness is the problem. It shouldn't get in the way of your life.
It's better to be honest with him... tell him that you're seeing someone, that you're happy and that although you understand his being worried about you, you will be careful and hope he can be happy for you! Tell him that he's your dad and as such will ALWAYS be important to you and that you are very grateful for everything he has done for you!
If you're 28 then your dad really has to expect you to be in relationships....I'm sure he's just worried about you getting hurt so you need to be honest and tell him that you'll be careful and will tell him if you have any concerns...
Perhaps you could work on getting your dad a hobby... it sounds as though he is obsessing about loosing you because he feels lonely. I don't know what his interests are, but he must have some so he needs to get out and meet people. Once he has his own relationships and friends to keep him busy he won't have time to obsess himself over your relationships.
Once he is getting out and doing things, you should really get an apartment of your own. I completely understand why you haven't before but you need to work on creating separate lives...
your father has bigger problems then just being upset with your boyfriends...
that's a really hard situation... im sorry im not sure what to say hun
and him lose a good housekeeper? If you're 28 years of age and being gainfully employed doesn't allow you to decide for yourself then you don't need the likes of this crowd to say so.
Your dad needs to get a grip! Maybe he needs to get a life,and doesnt realize he is choking away your life
You are 28!? And your dad is still acting like your a baby and you are not! I think you have to be firm here and simply tell him that you have met someone, you are happy and the more erratic his behaviour gets the further he is pushing you away. Explain that you will eventually meet someone and possibly get married and have children so he cannot throw his dummy out of his pram every time! You really should try and get somewhere to live on your own, he must realise how crazy he is being! This is childish and silly and he cannot protect you forever, he needs to realise that you are 28, not 16.
That is an unhealthy relationship. You need to be in your own apartment. Your dad needs therapy!!!
I am also a father of grown up daughter. Your problem is not because of him but because you really love him.
I feel you have every right to choose your friend(s) and if possible settle down. Your father's insecurities are his self imagined and not based on reality or facts.
You should, therefore, speak to him and hear him out before you suggest introducing your riend to him. Chances are he will agree to it on second request from a loving daughter.
Whoa, don't tell him SH*T. Do what you have to do to keep it on the DL (down low). First off you are 28. If you live with your dad its time for you to get out. Some weird stuff is going on inside your pops head. Your dad should want you out of the house, not keep you locked in it. You need to stop feeling that you have to share so much with you parents or parent. Just remember. You know how your dad thinks, so you know what you should be telling him.
be prepared to move out if u have to
just tell your dad that if he wants to meet your bf then arrange it at a neutral place then talk it through with your dad if he still goes barmy ask him why he does this it might help the situation. if not then work it out from there
you are kiddin of course......c'mon, truth is you've got a flat now, well u r 28, you really don't need to ask Daddy anythin d'ya. your havin fun and a life and Daddy comes to dinner when you invite him RIGHT
move out
well sweetheart i really have to say i think first you should move out on your own i really don't think that i could deal with my mom or dad telling me what do do at 28 and i am only 25...also i have to say that you must like it or you would do something about it...also i don't think that you should be with a 20 year old guy try and find someone closer to your age...just a thought...i mean at 20 i didn't know what i wanted and really hadn't grown up...most of the time it takjes males a lot long to do that then females...some people may say i am wrong but i know it took two times in iraq having a kid and going throw alot more to get where i am today.....good luck and move out
Tell your dad your a grown woman. almost a middle aged woman and your life is your own and if his life is ruined cuz your mum died you can't replace you mum.
Maybe you need to sit down with yuor dad and tell him that you will always be in his life but you need your own life too, he will have to get used to the fact that you want relationships and your dad shouldnt make you feel bad about having a little bit of fun, x
you are 28 years old and have officially been an adult for 10 years!!! i get that u are ur dad's only kid, but he will have to understand that u need to live ur own life, settle down if u want to and do ur own thing! why dont u move out? that would make u feel less under his control! its not fair on u or him, or indeed any of ur boyfriends!
CRADLE SNATCHER!
Should I use my job to pick up women?
I am a single man and I own a locksmith business. I frequently go out on re-keys (change locks) because of relationships ending. I usually meet friendly attractive women who are going through breakups and divorces. I would be interested in dating some of these women but I don't know how to make the move from locksmith to asking them out. Is it inappropriate or creepy to ask them out? If it's not, then how should I go about it? I have thought about calling these women back a few weeks later to see how they are doing but I don't want to set off the creep meter. I'm average looking, funny, street and life smart. I'm just not sure on this one. What are your thoughts?
Should I use my job to pick up women?
I see nothing wrong with using the contact circumstance to strike up a conversation. However, you'll need to at least defuse a couple of worries.
%26quot;I've really enjoyed talking with you today; I wish all my work were this pleasant. I know it's a bad time for you, but I'd like to take you out, *if* you're interested, *when* you feel ready ... and I *really* hope it's not too creepy that the guy asking you out knows how to make a key to your door. Really, the code of ethics we have %26lt;shiver%26gt;. Let's just say that I am *not* emotionally capable of coming here without your direct invitation, okay?%26quot;
Maybe that's not the right wording -- but one of you will have to acknowledge the distinction between the professional and the personal side soon enough, just as a doctor who dates a patient will need to give up that part of the practice, and transfer the personal records out ASAP.
Still, I wouldn't wait a few weeks as a practice: if she interests you, then let her know as soon as you can do so without compromising your professional ethics. If you can do it before you leave for the day, all the better -- socially. Of course, the ones you're already thinking about -- start making calls before they forget you.
Should I use my job to pick up women?
I think it's okay. Just act like a normal dude, not like 'mr official locksmith dude.' act naturally and it should be okay.
Try and strike up a conversation and if you click then go for it. How do you meet people these days anyway? Go for it as long you aren't trying to prey on them because you think they are vulnerable because that would be wrong.
Should I use my job to pick up women?
I see nothing wrong with using the contact circumstance to strike up a conversation. However, you'll need to at least defuse a couple of worries.
%26quot;I've really enjoyed talking with you today; I wish all my work were this pleasant. I know it's a bad time for you, but I'd like to take you out, *if* you're interested, *when* you feel ready ... and I *really* hope it's not too creepy that the guy asking you out knows how to make a key to your door. Really, the code of ethics we have %26lt;shiver%26gt;. Let's just say that I am *not* emotionally capable of coming here without your direct invitation, okay?%26quot;
Maybe that's not the right wording -- but one of you will have to acknowledge the distinction between the professional and the personal side soon enough, just as a doctor who dates a patient will need to give up that part of the practice, and transfer the personal records out ASAP.
Still, I wouldn't wait a few weeks as a practice: if she interests you, then let her know as soon as you can do so without compromising your professional ethics. If you can do it before you leave for the day, all the better -- socially. Of course, the ones you're already thinking about -- start making calls before they forget you.
Should I use my job to pick up women?
I think it's okay. Just act like a normal dude, not like 'mr official locksmith dude.' act naturally and it should be okay.
Try and strike up a conversation and if you click then go for it. How do you meet people these days anyway? Go for it as long you aren't trying to prey on them because you think they are vulnerable because that would be wrong.
How long can I stay in my house after a Trustee Sale in California?
Hello everyone,
I know there have been many questions and answers regarding this question, but no one gets closer to %26quot;After%26quot; a Trustee Sale in California. I received a Notice of Trustee Sale that the house I live in and once owned ('cause I filed for Bankruptcy and the bank is taking it back) will be sold at public auction on 05/06/2010. My question is: What Happens Next? as Do I have to be out of the house by the sale date? Do I have at least a few days to vacant the house after the sale? Will the assigned RE broker will contact me? Will the RE agent will come to the house with a Locksmith and change locks? (which I read somewhere) I appreciate any help or idea as on what to expect after the Trustee Sale. Thanks.
How long can I stay in my house after a Trustee Sale in California?
You are expected out by the sales date. The new owner takes possession immediately.
How long can I stay in my house after a Trustee Sale in California?
You will receive a move out notice. The time depends on the lender.
Strictly speaking, you should be out when you no longer own it. That is the date and time of the auction.
In legal terms, you can stay in the house and force the new owner (probably the bank) to evict you. It will take them 30 days to evict you. The problem is that you now have an eviction on your credit report. The foreclosure is bad for your credit but you could still find a rental home. With the eviction on your record, you will be struggling to find a place to live.
I know there have been many questions and answers regarding this question, but no one gets closer to %26quot;After%26quot; a Trustee Sale in California. I received a Notice of Trustee Sale that the house I live in and once owned ('cause I filed for Bankruptcy and the bank is taking it back) will be sold at public auction on 05/06/2010. My question is: What Happens Next? as Do I have to be out of the house by the sale date? Do I have at least a few days to vacant the house after the sale? Will the assigned RE broker will contact me? Will the RE agent will come to the house with a Locksmith and change locks? (which I read somewhere) I appreciate any help or idea as on what to expect after the Trustee Sale. Thanks.
How long can I stay in my house after a Trustee Sale in California?
You are expected out by the sales date. The new owner takes possession immediately.
How long can I stay in my house after a Trustee Sale in California?
You will receive a move out notice. The time depends on the lender.
Strictly speaking, you should be out when you no longer own it. That is the date and time of the auction.
In legal terms, you can stay in the house and force the new owner (probably the bank) to evict you. It will take them 30 days to evict you. The problem is that you now have an eviction on your credit report. The foreclosure is bad for your credit but you could still find a rental home. With the eviction on your record, you will be struggling to find a place to live.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Sheriff coming to evict, but the person listed as plantiff/owner does not own property anymore?
The person listed as the plaintiff/owner of this property in a UD case that got a default judgment because he never served us papers, has the sheriff coming in 5 days. He got the judgment either a few days before or possibly more likely after escrow closed and property transferred to new owners
The new owners state they know nothing of this and will not be apart of it
So when the sheriff shows up to evict me, I will show him dated papers that the property was sold and to whom. There also SHOULD be a rep on site from the new owners that will state the plaintiff listed is no longer the owner. I cant see how the sheriff can let the non-owner change locks on an apartment he doesn't own.
That should work correct?
Is there anything else I can say/do/have to help?
Sheriff coming to evict, but the person listed as plantiff/owner does not own property anymore?
You have it covered. The original plaintiff has no standing
And don't wait for the Sheriff to come out. Call his office, perhaps fax the information over.
Sheriff coming to evict, but the person listed as plantiff/owner does not own property anymore?
that's all well and good except for ONE thing.... the new owner is not legally bound to abide by any lease agreement you might have been under or ANY kind of rental agreement by the original owner and can, therefore evict you for ANY reason - - simply because he is the new owner of the building.... this is true because it happened to me once. my duplex was sold and I was told by original owner that I could stay... new owner took possession and wanted me out to rent my half of the house to a family member of his own... and legally I had no recourse and had to vacate... so you may not get to stay no matter what you do...
My goal is not to stay, I planned on moving anyway. But not in 5 days. 2 of which are now gone. I cant uproot in 5 days with no place to go yet!
No matter what the outcome, you must be given 15 to 30 days to find a new place of residence. You seem to be a victim here so you have rights. I would think of suing the %26quot;Default Owner%26quot; of any moving and hardship costs. I would contact your county court house and ask about options you may have on this matter.
All wrong!
You go to the court house.
Go before the same judge.
Have it set aside.
The sheriff must follow an order from the court.
The new owners state they know nothing of this and will not be apart of it
So when the sheriff shows up to evict me, I will show him dated papers that the property was sold and to whom. There also SHOULD be a rep on site from the new owners that will state the plaintiff listed is no longer the owner. I cant see how the sheriff can let the non-owner change locks on an apartment he doesn't own.
That should work correct?
Is there anything else I can say/do/have to help?
Sheriff coming to evict, but the person listed as plantiff/owner does not own property anymore?
You have it covered. The original plaintiff has no standing
And don't wait for the Sheriff to come out. Call his office, perhaps fax the information over.
Sheriff coming to evict, but the person listed as plantiff/owner does not own property anymore?
that's all well and good except for ONE thing.... the new owner is not legally bound to abide by any lease agreement you might have been under or ANY kind of rental agreement by the original owner and can, therefore evict you for ANY reason - - simply because he is the new owner of the building.... this is true because it happened to me once. my duplex was sold and I was told by original owner that I could stay... new owner took possession and wanted me out to rent my half of the house to a family member of his own... and legally I had no recourse and had to vacate... so you may not get to stay no matter what you do...
My goal is not to stay, I planned on moving anyway. But not in 5 days. 2 of which are now gone. I cant uproot in 5 days with no place to go yet!
No matter what the outcome, you must be given 15 to 30 days to find a new place of residence. You seem to be a victim here so you have rights. I would think of suing the %26quot;Default Owner%26quot; of any moving and hardship costs. I would contact your county court house and ask about options you may have on this matter.
All wrong!
You go to the court house.
Go before the same judge.
Have it set aside.
The sheriff must follow an order from the court.
Should I take him back or just move on?
Ok I have been with my man for 5 years now.We have 2 kids together,and for the past 2 years he has been treating me very bad.He would make me cry on a daily basis and would leave me and the kids whenever he wanted to go out(sometimes for 3 days)! And I finally found out that he was seeing one of his ex lovers during these times he would leave us,but because I loved him so much I forgave him and took him back and still he just kept leaving us repeatedly almost on a weekly basis,and when he was finished he would call me crying and begging to come back.Well I promised my self that I would not tolerate any of his crap anymore after the new year if he didnt change then I was finished with him.And sure enough...one day after the new year he decided to leave again and not come back until the next day,but when he came back.... he came back to changed locks on the doors.Anyways,I recently met a really nice guy and he asked me out to dinner last night and I went.Well my ex has been calling me nonstop crying and begging to come back as usual,but he had no idea I was out on a date.Well I put my phone on silent,but some how when he was calling the %26quot;talk%26quot; button was accidently pushed and he was on the phone for 23 minutes and heard me with this guy just laughing and having a good time.Well when I checked my voicemail after the date It was full,and they were all from him,screaming and crying! I called him asking what his problem was and his dad told me he had to take him to the ER...because my ex couldnt breathe right and he was shaking so bad.I went to the ER and he looked like he was ready to die!well I guess it was because he heard me with this other man and just lost it. He never thought i would be able to move on,he always thought that I would just be waiting for him to come home like I always did,but I guess it was just too over whelming for him.Anyways,I need advice because he said that this was a wake up call for him and that he learned his lesson and he will never hurt me again.However,Im not too convinced and would hate to make the wrong decision again.So,does anyone think its possible that this could have %26quot;made him see the light%26quot;? Or should i just move forward and let him go?
Should I take him back or just move on?
I would say no but, dam, an ER trip is not so clear.
What I would do, just to be on the safe side - is to remain apart for a while.
As unclear as it is now, you will probably be able to answer this question yourself, if you give it some time for thought.
Only you know what's best. Take some time to figure it out.
And, congrats on the date. If you like him, don't stop seeing him. Remain open to all possibilities!
Should I take him back or just move on?
I'm so sorry you are in that position, but you should always trust your intuition. What does your gut tell you? Do you truly believe that he is being honest with you, can you honestly believe that he will never hurt you again. Food for thought if you do forgive him, believe me you will not forget. Will you be able to trust him when he is out, will you be checking his cell phone or snooping around in his e-mail accounts? Sometimes it is better to just move on, what is done is done.
Sadly, he's not worth it. You'll literally spend your life asking these questions. And one day, we'll turn on the TV and find you on %26quot;Snapped.%26quot; So, let him go. I know it's a painful thing to do. You will get over him and you will be happy. you have to love yourself and your 2 kids enough to put toxic people out of your life. This kind of man would teach your children all the wrong life lessons. Think about your self worth. You deserve better.
I did the ER trick (yes, trick) on my ex. Not like you could really trick the doctors, but I pushed myself into this kind of mental state almost on purpose. I felt outraged by what he did, so yeah, my breathing was kind of like that too and the rest of stuff. I also wanted him to feel really really bad by what he did to me. 51% true, 49% manipulation, I admit. mind you, I've done wrog by him too. I also wanted to see if there is any love in his eyes when he visits me. There was calm understanding but no love.
Well I'm not him, and he is not me. Your stuation may be completely different. But don't rule out the possibility of acting and manipulating.
forgive him and be on talking terms but NO u do not want to date or marry such a guy.
Well, you know him better than anyone. Do you think he's even capable of changing? If yes, give him one more chance. Just one. Otherwise, tell him he had his chance and he blew it.
You should also take your feelings into consideration, do you still love him?
The whole ER thing is kinda dramatic, don't you think?
If it were me, I'd give him one last chance. You've already shown him that you aren't afraid to let him go. Maybe he has woken up.
Don't take him back. What you describe isn't a natural reaction at all. He has issues that run far deeper than anything you can help him with. People break up all the time - ask him why his breakups make him turn into a sobbing wreck. No, there is something wrong here. My wife had an affair once and actually moved out, and I felt bad for about a week before I quit feeling sorry for myself. Screaming and crying won't cut it for you, will it? I bet not.
from what you have described he is a bit of a smuck! but you obviously love him.... I would not recommend you let him back so easily, make him work for your trust again! play hard to get...
I know that a man can change, espeially once we have lost what we take for granted... but he sure is used to you giving in to his lack of commitment....
I think you should wait to see the change, FIRST! And just allow him to spend time with your kids...
Let him go and move on with your life....
You don't need a yo-yo relationship.
Find someone who deserves you for who you are.
NO easy decision but I think for kids sake I would give him a chance BUT on strict conditions ( like job probation). I would not allow him to move back and tell him he has to live somewhere else until he starts to act like a Man. Then slowly monitor his progress as this is not good for you or the kids. Instability is terrible for kids. Some conditions he has to accept..etc you add more...
1. He has to Cut all contact with x-lovers
2. He has to be home daily with family and focus on you and the kids
..etc
You have to be firm through this and think of the impact on your children.
He's a child and you will never break this cycle with this guy . Do what you know is best for you . By the way i'm not buying the whole phone was accidental on bit hahaha. That was cold
ITS OVER NOW, HATE TO SAY IT.
1 HE CHEATED WHICH IS BAD YOU SHOULD HAVE ENDED THERE BUT WHAT WAS HE'S REASON FOR DOING THAT. THEY SAY IF THE DOG DOESNT EAT AT HOME HE WILL ROME THE NEIGHBORHOOD FOR FOOD.
2. TALKING TO ANOTHER MAN AND I DONT KNOW WHAT WAS SAID BUT IF IT WAS DISRESPECTFUL THATS MESSED UP TO AND HE THOUGHT HE COULD TRUST YOU, THATS WHY HE MIGHT BE UPSET EVEN IF YOU GUYS WERE JUST JOKING AROUND ITS STILL DISRESPECTFUL.
TALK ABOUT THINGS BUT I GUESS THERE IS A LACK OF RESPECT AND TRUTH IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, SO I SAY GO YOUR OWN WAYS
WTF??? Ummm...NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well for me, forgiveness is something you give someone who made a terrible mistake. not 4 million terrible mistakes. sorry honey. I don't think your zebra can change his stripes.
What happens with people like him is that when they get a shock like this they probably change like for a couple of months or so (longer than expected of course) but then they go back to their ways because that is the way they are and that is WHO HE IS. Certain things can be changed, but be certain the whole and the main %26quot;him%26quot; cannot and will not change. Besides, he didn't do it in years so I am sure he won't be able to do it permanently even if he thinks so now (he will just change his mind later down the road)..... don't keep fooling yourself, especially if you find someone else that is the way you want and the way you deserve...... oh and leave things CLEAR though, you can't cut him out completely and never will be able to because you 2 already have children together, however, make it clear that its over = its over for real. He can see the children, but do not let him take advantage of that to be an obstacle in your way to happiness, because he obviously will take advantage of it. So if you decide this be sure to tell him strong and clear that its over for good, which means forever. If you don't do that, he might not live there but he will still bring problems/worries and more; if I was you I would want to get rid of all that crap. A partner is supposed to give you happiness not UNhappiness and worries and crap like this.
%26quot; So,does anyone think its possible that this could have %26quot;made him see the light%26quot;? %26quot;
Short answer: sure he saw some light, but that light will not change who he already is. Though he might be %26quot;in shock%26quot; and wanting to prove himself that he is still %26quot;in control%26quot; by getting his wishes on silver plater once again. And of course this is natural for someone like this when they see what they think belongs to them does not.
You are your own boss and you decide what you want for yourself.
I guess women can be very emotional...... if this was me and a woman does some of this crap to me just once that's it..... and I am a nice guy, but when others are not nice to me things change on my side as well. He asked for it..... and you had to endure that for 2 years..... I mean his reaction isn't really as shocking as the fact you are thinking about coming back to this once again....... makes me wonder how the hell can some women love someone that clearly enough DOES NOT LOVE / TREAT THEM LIKE THEY DESERVE ...... yeah love love.... whatever if HE felt the same he wouldn't have done those things without much mercy, you didn't do those things to him I am sure about that....... clearly what I call a 1-sided relationship.
Well, good luck for you. I just hope you can take care of yourself and the children financially without any need of him money-wise. And my final opinion, what I think, it is simple: I don't think you can achieve real happiness with this guy, so if you want that I would think about it. And whatever your decision is don't let him manipulate you with his crying and crap...... I would make it clear that the father-sons relationship with the kids is there and will always be, but the one with you won't ever be again...... if this seems too hard then think again about all he did to you; I am sure those things weren't hard for him to do, so why would this be hard for you? Love? No, sounds more like masochism to me...... sorry but I am saying what I think....... It is about time both (you and him) get what each deserves, but the final decision is all yours don't let me decide for you either, this is just my honest opinion-based advice. Just be sure you think with a clear head, that is without emotions getting in the way of reason.
My sincere best wishes for you.
Should I take him back or just move on?
I would say no but, dam, an ER trip is not so clear.
What I would do, just to be on the safe side - is to remain apart for a while.
As unclear as it is now, you will probably be able to answer this question yourself, if you give it some time for thought.
Only you know what's best. Take some time to figure it out.
And, congrats on the date. If you like him, don't stop seeing him. Remain open to all possibilities!
Should I take him back or just move on?
I'm so sorry you are in that position, but you should always trust your intuition. What does your gut tell you? Do you truly believe that he is being honest with you, can you honestly believe that he will never hurt you again. Food for thought if you do forgive him, believe me you will not forget. Will you be able to trust him when he is out, will you be checking his cell phone or snooping around in his e-mail accounts? Sometimes it is better to just move on, what is done is done.
Sadly, he's not worth it. You'll literally spend your life asking these questions. And one day, we'll turn on the TV and find you on %26quot;Snapped.%26quot; So, let him go. I know it's a painful thing to do. You will get over him and you will be happy. you have to love yourself and your 2 kids enough to put toxic people out of your life. This kind of man would teach your children all the wrong life lessons. Think about your self worth. You deserve better.
I did the ER trick (yes, trick) on my ex. Not like you could really trick the doctors, but I pushed myself into this kind of mental state almost on purpose. I felt outraged by what he did, so yeah, my breathing was kind of like that too and the rest of stuff. I also wanted him to feel really really bad by what he did to me. 51% true, 49% manipulation, I admit. mind you, I've done wrog by him too. I also wanted to see if there is any love in his eyes when he visits me. There was calm understanding but no love.
Well I'm not him, and he is not me. Your stuation may be completely different. But don't rule out the possibility of acting and manipulating.
forgive him and be on talking terms but NO u do not want to date or marry such a guy.
Well, you know him better than anyone. Do you think he's even capable of changing? If yes, give him one more chance. Just one. Otherwise, tell him he had his chance and he blew it.
You should also take your feelings into consideration, do you still love him?
The whole ER thing is kinda dramatic, don't you think?
If it were me, I'd give him one last chance. You've already shown him that you aren't afraid to let him go. Maybe he has woken up.
Don't take him back. What you describe isn't a natural reaction at all. He has issues that run far deeper than anything you can help him with. People break up all the time - ask him why his breakups make him turn into a sobbing wreck. No, there is something wrong here. My wife had an affair once and actually moved out, and I felt bad for about a week before I quit feeling sorry for myself. Screaming and crying won't cut it for you, will it? I bet not.
from what you have described he is a bit of a smuck! but you obviously love him.... I would not recommend you let him back so easily, make him work for your trust again! play hard to get...
I know that a man can change, espeially once we have lost what we take for granted... but he sure is used to you giving in to his lack of commitment....
I think you should wait to see the change, FIRST! And just allow him to spend time with your kids...
Let him go and move on with your life....
You don't need a yo-yo relationship.
Find someone who deserves you for who you are.
NO easy decision but I think for kids sake I would give him a chance BUT on strict conditions ( like job probation). I would not allow him to move back and tell him he has to live somewhere else until he starts to act like a Man. Then slowly monitor his progress as this is not good for you or the kids. Instability is terrible for kids. Some conditions he has to accept..etc you add more...
1. He has to Cut all contact with x-lovers
2. He has to be home daily with family and focus on you and the kids
..etc
You have to be firm through this and think of the impact on your children.
He's a child and you will never break this cycle with this guy . Do what you know is best for you . By the way i'm not buying the whole phone was accidental on bit hahaha. That was cold
ITS OVER NOW, HATE TO SAY IT.
1 HE CHEATED WHICH IS BAD YOU SHOULD HAVE ENDED THERE BUT WHAT WAS HE'S REASON FOR DOING THAT. THEY SAY IF THE DOG DOESNT EAT AT HOME HE WILL ROME THE NEIGHBORHOOD FOR FOOD.
2. TALKING TO ANOTHER MAN AND I DONT KNOW WHAT WAS SAID BUT IF IT WAS DISRESPECTFUL THATS MESSED UP TO AND HE THOUGHT HE COULD TRUST YOU, THATS WHY HE MIGHT BE UPSET EVEN IF YOU GUYS WERE JUST JOKING AROUND ITS STILL DISRESPECTFUL.
TALK ABOUT THINGS BUT I GUESS THERE IS A LACK OF RESPECT AND TRUTH IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, SO I SAY GO YOUR OWN WAYS
WTF??? Ummm...NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well for me, forgiveness is something you give someone who made a terrible mistake. not 4 million terrible mistakes. sorry honey. I don't think your zebra can change his stripes.
What happens with people like him is that when they get a shock like this they probably change like for a couple of months or so (longer than expected of course) but then they go back to their ways because that is the way they are and that is WHO HE IS. Certain things can be changed, but be certain the whole and the main %26quot;him%26quot; cannot and will not change. Besides, he didn't do it in years so I am sure he won't be able to do it permanently even if he thinks so now (he will just change his mind later down the road)..... don't keep fooling yourself, especially if you find someone else that is the way you want and the way you deserve...... oh and leave things CLEAR though, you can't cut him out completely and never will be able to because you 2 already have children together, however, make it clear that its over = its over for real. He can see the children, but do not let him take advantage of that to be an obstacle in your way to happiness, because he obviously will take advantage of it. So if you decide this be sure to tell him strong and clear that its over for good, which means forever. If you don't do that, he might not live there but he will still bring problems/worries and more; if I was you I would want to get rid of all that crap. A partner is supposed to give you happiness not UNhappiness and worries and crap like this.
%26quot; So,does anyone think its possible that this could have %26quot;made him see the light%26quot;? %26quot;
Short answer: sure he saw some light, but that light will not change who he already is. Though he might be %26quot;in shock%26quot; and wanting to prove himself that he is still %26quot;in control%26quot; by getting his wishes on silver plater once again. And of course this is natural for someone like this when they see what they think belongs to them does not.
You are your own boss and you decide what you want for yourself.
I guess women can be very emotional...... if this was me and a woman does some of this crap to me just once that's it..... and I am a nice guy, but when others are not nice to me things change on my side as well. He asked for it..... and you had to endure that for 2 years..... I mean his reaction isn't really as shocking as the fact you are thinking about coming back to this once again....... makes me wonder how the hell can some women love someone that clearly enough DOES NOT LOVE / TREAT THEM LIKE THEY DESERVE ...... yeah love love.... whatever if HE felt the same he wouldn't have done those things without much mercy, you didn't do those things to him I am sure about that....... clearly what I call a 1-sided relationship.
Well, good luck for you. I just hope you can take care of yourself and the children financially without any need of him money-wise. And my final opinion, what I think, it is simple: I don't think you can achieve real happiness with this guy, so if you want that I would think about it. And whatever your decision is don't let him manipulate you with his crying and crap...... I would make it clear that the father-sons relationship with the kids is there and will always be, but the one with you won't ever be again...... if this seems too hard then think again about all he did to you; I am sure those things weren't hard for him to do, so why would this be hard for you? Love? No, sounds more like masochism to me...... sorry but I am saying what I think....... It is about time both (you and him) get what each deserves, but the final decision is all yours don't let me decide for you either, this is just my honest opinion-based advice. Just be sure you think with a clear head, that is without emotions getting in the way of reason.
My sincere best wishes for you.
How can i get my so called hubby getting his stuff out?
how can i get my so called hubby getting his stuff out and stop him from bring his s*)(er in to my house after telling him not to .can't change lock for a while help getting to stag to some one getting thmped
How can i get my so called hubby getting his stuff out?
I'd tell him take ur Sh*t out of here! U are a women, Do it for you and women kind!
How can i get my so called hubby getting his stuff out?
Take your stuff out and leave him 1st!
er love! how much vodka u been on tonight?web server software teens junk food
How can i get my so called hubby getting his stuff out?
I'd tell him take ur Sh*t out of here! U are a women, Do it for you and women kind!
How can i get my so called hubby getting his stuff out?
Take your stuff out and leave him 1st!
er love! how much vodka u been on tonight?
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